Top Ten President Trump First Term Accomplishments

  1. Convinces the Department of the Interior to declare his hair a native wildlife habitat.
  1. Declares that since she is just so bubbly and social, Sarah Palin would be the Secretary of the new Department of Twitter.
  1. While updating his Facebook status, he unfriends the countries of Mexico, China, and North Korea.
  1. Has a large TRUMP neon sign installed atop the White House.
  1. Commissions Ted Nugent to scour Webster’s Dictionary to find additional crude, vulgar words that can be used to describe women that threaten bros like Donald and Ted.
  1. Due to a downturn in the economy is only able to build a wall around Megan Kelly.

4. Citing security concerns, has Ted Cruz deported to his homeland of Canada. Canada immediately declares war on the U. S.

  1. Signs a contract with SteamMasters to have them coordinate the carpet bombing program.
  1. Vows to cooperate with Congress because he loves the poorly educated.
  1. Instead of deporting 11 million undocumented immigrants, he has them housed (8 to a room) in his unused hotel rooms. Gives them the “Friends of Trump” room rate.

    ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

    Terry Goodman spent his entire teaching career working with future math teachers at University of Central Missouri (previously Central Missouri State), and officially retired in 2011, after which he returned to his home state of Texas.  (His comment was that the move raised the average IQ of both states!)  Terry and I collaborated on MANY projects in mathematics education over the years – he was a terrific (and highly organized!) colleague and he remains a close friend!  His wife and mine get along famously (too well!) and the four of us have gone on more than one vacation together!  We miss him here in Missouri!


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